lördag, februari 25, 2006

frozen by fear

lighting the first candleIt was not the frozen streets that stopped me from running for such a long time, but my fear. We have had several women attacked in Umeå since December and my fear of the dark (which I have had since a girl) has increased ten-fold. Consequently, I stopped running. I went to the gym a couple of times and ran on the treadmill, but it was just not the same. Instead of running in the crisp winter air, I have been doing a lot of yoga. I have really missed running, however. It was so much more than a way to get into shape, but a way to clear my thoughts and be silent with myself. After months of letting my fear paralyze me, I have decided it is time to lace up my shoes and screw my courage to the sticking point. After the first attack, I organized a take back the night march in an attempt to encourage women to not let one person determine her right to live and be out in the evening, yet I did not take my own advice. I did let my courage paralyze me! But no more. This is my declaration. I want to run again! I will not let the actions of one depraved man determine my right to be out and free. I am taking back my run!